Summer is just too short here in our mountain valley.
I've been pulling my homeschool curriculum together,ironing out the conflict between autonomy, group dynamic, and maternal tyranny. We've spent the last two weeks at a local pool, the spot to take swimming lessons in the area. I didn't find out about it for years because they don't advertise. You have to know the right people, because the urban types go to the college pool six or seven miles further and in Ephraim. I have a friend who took lessons as a child and had a personality conflict with the instructor, but she is right back there with her kids. one of her kids also has a personality conflict with the instructor. But by golly, she is very effective and it seems most kids get over their conflicts with her.
The instructor is also a teacher at the middle school and has been doing both for fifty years. Her daughter is gradually taking over the pool and lessons part of the time. There were fourteen kids in Hyrum's class and usually they have between seven and ten in a class.
Anyway, Hyrum was on the farthest end from the instructor, his attention waned and he began dipping under the water and jumping up repetitively, lost in the pleasure of water. Okay, so my kids aren't so good at group manners. I have instructed them in collaboration. Unfortunately, collaboration isn't conducive to all settings. The teacher couldn't get his attention and beelined across the pool. She grabbed him by the shoulders, leveled his gaze with her own, and gave him a stern talking to.

He wilted, then as she turned away he slipped under the surface and stayed long enough that I was seriously considering jumping in to rescue him when he bobbed up for a breath and slunk down again. Another mom (whose own child has had an experience similar) and I were giggling empathetically and with some dismay, wondering if he would recover emotionally. Also, we were concerned with how long he would try to hide under the water. He finally came up and was listless the rest of the lesson, careful not to distract. The minute he got to the car he announced that he wasn't coming back, ever, and he was very adamant about it. He repeated it endlessly that weekend and he also came down with a cold.
I didn't want to pressure him, because I wanted to allow for the validity of his experience and feelings, but I did ask him questions. "You're not going back ever?" "not ever!" "Are you embarrassed?" "yes" he admitted. So I knew it was the right time. "Do you think you will feel better if you apologize to your teacher?" "..yes", but it was a very meek yes. "Would you like to do that Monday before class?" "yes". "Then would you feel okay about going back to swimming lessons?" "I think so." "okay, good." I felt relief for both of us. He apologized, and he needed some help being specific, but all was well thereafter.